Thoughts on dogs

1. Sometimes dog-owners dress up their dogs in human-style clothing--this is rarely a good idea.

2. There are two types of dog accessories: the practical (normal collars, leashes, canteens--such as those strapped to Swiss Alp Rescue St. Bernards) and the absurd (bejewelled collars, sunglasses, bandanas, nail polish, hats).

3. As a child my family had two Australian Shepherds. My father named them Calvin and Zwingli, after the reformers. Ironically, Calvin's coloring was black and white (Zwingli was brown and white, I'm not sure if there was any theological significance in that). One day Zwingli bit a young girl and was "put to sleep." (Side note: this seems a peacefully inane euphemism--put to sleep--I wonder what the effects on human execution would be if we labeled it thus.) After much thought I cannot recall how Calvin died, I believe I might have discovered my first repressed childhood trauma.

4. Sometimes dogs are treated like humans.

5. Sometimes people act like dogs. I am not repeating a cliche here. When my brother was a toddler he did everything in his power to be a dog. In our backyard he would sleep with them, eat with them, crawl in the dust on all fours with them. My mother would not allow him to defecate like them.